Love Hurts

My name is Ryan and I’m a friend of RedlineNorth. This is my rant. To borrow a quote from Scottish Rockers, Nazareth and their 1970s hit “Love Hurts” this is especially true when you are talking about older luxury cars. I truly love cars, especially, older high-end models in the $3,000-$10,000 price range and my specialty is finding, buying and driving them into the ground.

2002 BMW M3  autopazar.co.uk

2003 BMW M3

A little background on me:

  • My newest vehicle was 12 years old
  • I have covered the bases when it comes to auto breakdowns
  • I have been a customer seeking an elusive European car part at one time or another at the local auto junkyard
  • I use only regular gas
  • Occasionally, I do add a fuel additive or two
  • In winter, I do use gas line antifreeze to combat Canada’s freezing temps
  • Based on today’s theory that luxury cars using high-end synthetic oil can travel over 5,000 kilometers before an oil change –
    • I always push them to at least 7,000 KM
    • Since I feel that taxing oil is not just the government’s job
    • And besides isn’t this how they test engines?

As for my purchase criteria of “high end” cars, here’s my motto and please note “high end” is a subjective term.  Firstly, if the vehicle has over 160,000 km, and/or once retailed for over $50K or has rims and a stereo that’s of equal or greater value than the rest of the car – it’s likely on my radar for potential purchase.

Cadillac Escalade

Cadillac Escalade

Audi S4

Audi S4

Unfortunately, my purchased rides don’t seem to survive long with my combination of a heavy foot and focus on pure driving pleasure.  Therefore, based on this reality – it is important to always be ready to recruit new prospects, so I keep my feelers out.  Now, this applies to more than just friends and co-workers since you must continually scour classified ads, Autotrader, Kijii, eBay, frequent car lots, eavesdrop at the mechanics’ shop and most importantly make time to pull over when you see a gem for sale on a passing lawn.

From experience I can say, turnover is high in this game and it’s not for everyone.  Sketchy, luxury car ownership runs on a 2-3 year cycle from passionate purchase to jaded dismissal. So please keep in mind that these cars will go sideways; so be sure to have CAA or some type of roadside assistance. Since for sure the On Star, DVD based navigation and/or Bluetooth will be long expired, broken or never existed.  Once again, at some time you will need a lift to the garage – so please splurge for the extra tow coverage.

Although the game is not for everyone the rules are simple and the rewards are immeasurable.

Here is my best advice for someone starting out today:

  • Downgrade your insurance to liability only
  • Have ‘ a guy’ or ‘a handful of guys’ on standby who can fix cars and find parts
  • Be familiar with the sounds and smells of a lemon and/or pending engine disaster
  • Never forget the joy of riding a bicycle
  • Have access to a “Black Book”
  • Keep your supportive partner
  • Appreciate ‘flossin’
  • Understand your neighbours will notice…and judge you
  • Accept that the purchase and sale transaction of your rides will always be weird.

Sketchy luxury car ownership is in some ways practical since most European whips are designed and engineered like works of art and are wickedly fast.  And the rewards are worth it since your car is to be used daily so you need to enjoy driving it.

For example, a 2014 Kia might technically be capable of reaching 200 kilometers per hour, but the experience is nothing compared to being at the wheel of a 2000 BMW M3 or an S4 Audi of the same vintage.  It’s better to be a once was than a never could be when travelling at high speeds.

As well, rap music is an integral influence to my “Love Hurts” philosophy so please look at the following as reference to the immortal beats and remind yourself what it takes to ball in an older, high-end luxury ride.

1)            The inc ride – Masta Ace Incorporated

2)            Whutcha Want? – Nine

3)            Jeeps, Lex Coups, Bimaz & Benz – Lost Boyz

4)            Born to Roll – Masta Ace

5)            Lacville ’79 – Devin the Dude

6)            Ridin – Chamillionaire ft. Krayzie Bone

7)            Bugatti – Ace Hood ft. Future, Rick Ross

8)            Box Chevy – Yelawolf ft. Rittz

9)            Beamer, Benz or Bentley – Lloyd Banks ft. Juelz Santana

10)         Stuntin Like My Daddy – Lil Wayne ft. Birdman

11)         Wild Boy – MGK ft. Waka Flocka Flame

Masta Ace - Sitting on Chrome Album cover

Masta Ace – Sitting on Chrome Album cover

In closing I want to reinforce that life is short and you bought the ticket so enjoy the ride (R.I.P. Hunter S.Thompson). So stop stressing about the gas mileage in your V8 Rover and just roll because behind the wheel you look like Christopher Moltisanti. This philosophy is way better than car payments on a new vehicle so keep pumping regular in spite of the stickers that say premium fuel required.

Hopefully, this has been helpful and maybe someday we will cross paths as I will be sure to stop if I see you in trouble at the side of the road….

Happy shopping!

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2 thoughts on “Love Hurts

  1. Very insightful article. Brings a tear to my eye knowing someone is going to treat my used BMW like garbage once I’m done with it.

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